Sleep! That word that is uttered under our breath in the hope that our babies will sleep, so we can sleep! Sleep deprivation is hard. Caring for a newborn is hard. Combine the two and it’s no wonder us parents can struggle and look for reasons why our babies are not sleeping.
Sleep regressions are a hot topic. They are thought to occur when a baby who is normally sleeping well begins to wake frequently at night and/or fights/refuses naps. These ‘regressions’ tend to have a pattern to them, but for some, they will still come as a shock.
Each stage will last between 2-6 weeks and the typical times for these to happen are 4 months, 9 months and 18 months of age, although there are other ages when parents notice that their baby’s sleep patterns change too.
The times when ‘regressions’ happen are usually linked to developmental leaps. Children have a number of developmental leaps within the first 2 years of their lives as their brain develops and they learn about the world around them.
If you change your outlook on these sleep changes to developmental progress, rather than a sleep regression, they make more sense and you can prepare for them and understand each stage a little better.
Children thrive on routine, so if you keep consistent in your approach to sleep, make sure all environmental and health factors are taken into consideration, and be optimistic that your child is developing correctly, hopefully these stages will pass with ease.
So what are the developmental leaps?
This is the toughest change a new parent may not expect. The 4 month sleep change marks a permanent difference in a baby’s sleeping habits. This is where a change happens in a sleep cycle of a baby. The brain has now matured and the baby sleeps in the same way as an adult where her cycles fluctuate between light and deep sleep.
When you look at it this way, it’s clear that the 4 month sleep change is a very normal, very healthy developmental milestone, just like learning to walk and talk. So, this should be a welcome stage of development. However, most parents will not see it this way as there may be more nighttime waking as well as shorter daytime naps. Every time a sleep cycle comes to an end, this is when there is the risk of the baby waking.
You may think that this regression is due to teething, reflux, hunger or other issues. It is important that you clearly understand why this happens and not start weaning early or change the baby’s routine as this will not fix this.
Secondly, you need to realise that with this sleep change, it doesn’t just disappear like the other phases. These changes are permanent as they are part of the brain’s development. There are, however, ways to move through this and ways in which you can teach a baby to settle into this new sleeping pattern.
It is important that you also look after yourself as well at this point as sleep deprivation can become a problem. It will also take a few days to come up with a plan of action.
For the 4 month sleep change, please try:
Remember, these should all be viewed as short-term solutions. None of these will solve your 4 month old baby’s sleep problems; what they will do is help you rest up in preparation for starting to work on teaching your 4 month old baby a new way to sleep.
Once the 4 month sleep change has eased, the next phase comes. This can start anytime between 8-10 months as it isn’t uncommon for babies to wake more now than they did on previous months.
The main reasons behind this 9 month sleep regression include:
Separation anxiety tends to be the main reason at this age as this is the stage where babies need to know that their parents are always there for them and that they can trust them to always come back. This trust and dependency will in turn start to develop into independence. This is a normal part of development and shows that the bond between the parents and baby is strong.
If you can understand why this ‘sleep regression’ happens, this will be the best way to make a plan to try to work your way through it. The best thing to do is to respond quickly and positively, rather than ignoring your baby if they cry out, as in the long term, this will make them more independent and confident. Although you need to remember not to give them too much attention at night, as your baby may feel that they are being rewarded for their night time waking.
This isn’t the time to try strict sleep training techniques such as ‘controlled crying’ as this may have the opposite effect if the night wakings are due to separation anxiety. Instead look at everything else that is happening during your baby’s daily routine and make sure that everything is still working.
Consider your baby’s sleep environment. Think about how all their senses may be stimulated and affect their sleep in some way.
Work through a checklist to pin point of any changes can be made:
Work your way through the list and try to put a calm, gentle routine together to work through any sleep issues. Make sure their attachment needs are being met.
At 12 months, we have to be aware that most children are learning to walk. And like with all other areas of development, practice makes perfect! This includes practicing at all times and in all places! It can be hard to settle a child around this age, but again this is just a phase and it will pass.
Give the child plenty of time to explore and practice during the day and be aware that they may also become overtired easier.
It is very common to hear many parents talking about their 15 month olds waking around 5am! The early rising usually occurs around this age due to a change in a child’s daytime nap schedule (moving from 2 naps to 1 per day). An overtired child can mean that they wake early, and then this becomes the normal cycle.
If you have recently dropped down to 1 nap during the day, it is advised to bring bedtime forward by at least half an hour. This should have the opposite outcome and a child will then usually sleep longer in the morning.
As with all the other sleep changes, this one is also linked to a child’s mental and physical development. There are a lot of developmental milestones happening that can impact on their sleep in a what seems like a negative way.
Each ‘sleep regression’ is exhausting for parents, but this is the one where there may be a battle of wills and you may have to include discipline as part of the solution. Stress and exhaustion can play a role here for parents, so it is important that you remain focused and not fall into any bad habits.
Tips to help you through this stage:
With all these changes in a child’s sleep, be aware that consistency is key. Make sure the you are sticking to the same routine everyday and that everyone who helps care for your child is on the same page.
A ‘sleep regression’ can occur at 2 years of age, partly because of a child’s nap schedule. A lot of parents believe their 2 year olds no longer need to nap, however, most still do. If naps become ‘optional’ or schedules change, children can become over tired and this then has a knock on effect on the quality of their sleep.
2 year olds are also developing their vocabulary. With that, they will again be practicing all these new words, especially in the quiet of their room at bedtime! Bring on their negotiating skills, and bedtimes can become a tricky time!
Imaginations also grow and you then also have the risk of nightmares occurring.
With all these so called ‘sleep regressions’, remember that they are all progressions and developmental leaps. They are times when children’s brains are growing and developing and new skills need to be exercised.
