Most parents, when expecting a baby, will search the internet, talk with friends or professionals about baby sleep-training; what are the latest ones, which are the best methods and which one they should choose. Some parents will also become overwhelmed by all the different sleeping techniques advice (professional and other) available to try with their baby.
It’s here where we need to ask ourselves: Is one sleep-training method much better than another?
There is no perfect answer to these questions, because this will depend on which technique parents feel more comfortable with, and which technique works better for their baby. Recent researchers have checked and reviewed the sleep-training techniques that most parents use and they all seem to work equally well when parents are consistent with the method. However, don’t follow every opinion that your friends or professionals give you; you are in the best position to know which technique suits your baby most.
“There’s not a right way or wrong way”, says Paediatrician Jennifer Shu. She gives the advice that "It's when your baby's pattern doesn't fit yours that you get some kind of conflict. You have to adapt." To find the best sleep-training technique, sleep experts advise parents to go through some questions before choosing the first technique to try. The questions are as follows:
One of the best ways to know your baby's personality is through observation, how the baby responds to stressful or new situations. The ways he or she will react to specific situations will let you know their personality: do they need a lot of comforting, is he or she easy-going? Small things will let you know more about their personality.
"If you can match a sleep-training approach with your child's temperament, you'll have more success and see quicker results" says Chicago paediatrician, Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. "It's just like disciplining your child – easy-going, adaptable children are easy to correct. A strong-willed, highly determined child, on the other hand, may need a tougher approach."
If you would like to have a rough idea of which sleep-training method may work better for your baby and you, in the following lines, we will go through this. Checking what other parents have done and what has worked for them might help you to choose one method for your family; parents with highly sensitive children have considered co-sleeping with their baby, because the physical contact and comfort this gives to the baby; other parents with easy-going or adaptable babies often choose gentle no-cry, fading, “camping out” or modified cry-it-out methods.
Jodi Mindell, associate director of Sleep Centre at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, has recommended a slower approach to sensitive children. For strong-willed children, a full cry-it-out method may work; this method encourages babies to learn to fall asleep on their own, because parents' consoling could prolong or intensify the process. Babies with resilient temperaments will respond well to crying-it-out methods.
The key to success with a sleep programme is the ability to commit to one method, so the first step for this is to consider your baby’s needs. From the moment of choosing a method, don’t only think about your baby, you need to think about yourself too, for example, if the sound of your baby crying makes you feel stressed and want to run to your baby, you will need to consider a slower approach that involves minimal crying. Always bear in mind that you need to know your strengths and limitations.
One of the reasons that parents don’t succeed with the sleeping programme is that they are too sleep-deprived themselves and cannot deal with the baby. Other problems that they might face are that they lose track of when to check in on a crying babe or they can no longer deal with the crying.
From the moment of choosing a sleep-training method, you not only need to think about the baby or yourself, you will need to add to that equation if there are more children or people in your home, because if you have young children at home, they might be awakened by the crying and develop sleep problems, themselves. You will need to consider a gradual strategy that involves little or no crying; one strategy that new parents are currently using is adding a white noise machine in every room, which will help every person to experience a deep sleep and not wake up from external noises.
Always keep in mind that it doesn’t matter which method you choose, it will take time for the baby to adjust, and that some babies will need more time than others, so don’t compare your children with your friends’ children. If you, as a parent, are doing the training, expect an adjustment period with some crying.
Most children will adjust within 7 to 10 days, so we advise waiting this length of time before deciding to make any chances. It is normal to get overwhelmed; everything is about stopping when you need to stop and trying again when you need to.
Transitions, or changes that happen in a child’s life, play a crucial role in their everyday routines and sleep. A change in a service (such as going to nursery for the first time, or moving schools), life (potty training, moving to a bed from a cot, puberty) or personal (divorce, new sibling) situation can have a major impact on a child’s sleep, due to the extra stresses it can place on them.
The key here is to prepare the child as much as possible for these changes as a way to ease their anxiety around it. Reading books and talking about the positive effects it will have on them will be a good start. When the transition is happening, the child will usually need additional reassurance and may need some extra settling at bedtimes, or during the night.
When parents have the help of a night nurse, learning how to read these cues will be much easier for them, so they will be able to keep the sleep routine when the night nurse is no longer working with the family. After a baby has been fed, you will generally have a small window where the infant can have playtime.
You may only have a short window before the baby becomes tired again so it is important to look out for the tired cues. If you are playing with them with their legs and arms. This is a sign of tiredness, and you will have a short window before the baby becomes over-tired. Once you see these signs, prepare the baby for bed. Handy hint: Always put the baby to sleep awake, let them fall asleep aware of their own surroundings, and allow them time to settle themselves.
A night nurse will usually be expected to resolve sleep problems within a week, especially when using stricter techniques. Gentler techniques may take longer, although if put into place and taught to the parents, they should be able to continue with these techniques without much input from the sleep trainer, with just follow on appointments required.
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